If I were to compose a list of all the things I'm afraid of, the list would extend for ten pages. To be brutally honest, I have pantophobia (a.k.a the fear of everything). I haven't been clinically diagnosed, but I just have unusual, irrational fears that I shouldn't have.
Growing up as the oldest cousin on both sides of the family, I was constantly surrounded by 12 younger cousins. Maybe it was all the babysitting or torment I endured, but now I abhor children. Especially younger children. Once they're about 9 or 10, I can handle them. Otherwise, they completely freak me out. Every time I see a little kid, I feel like they're going to attack me. Just look at them glaring at you with their evil eyes! I'm not crazy, I swear.
I'm also deathly afraid of germs. It grosses me out to see people share drinks or rub their eyes after touching a doorknob. Do you know how many common objects aren't sanitized (such as this school computer keyboard I'm touching)? EWW. I'm shuddering right now at the thought. Time to dig my sanitizer out of my purse.
Along with consuming germs, I'm also terrified of getting long-term or terminal illnesses. I would hate to suffer through cancer or diabetes. I think that's why I avoid junk food (mainly trans fat) at all costs- because I'm afraid of growing older and sicker.
If anyone wanted to knock me down, all they'd have to do is criticize me. I have such an intense fear of being negatively criticized that I frequently go far out of my way just to avoid it. I don't know why I'm so afraid of this. I'm definitely labeled as a perfectionist. Maybe that's why I hate criticism--because I don't want any bad marks that will label me "less than perfect."
Class time is up, but my list of irrational fears continues to grow as the clocks tick. Those who know me understand my fears and try (somewhat) to accommodate as much as possible.
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hahahaha! ohh chels! you never cease to amaze me. The funny part is, is that i knew all these things about you. You should probably go and check that out at the doctor. I can't believe you dont like kids though, they are so cute (:
ReplyDeleteWell I gotta say this didn't exactly surprise me although I didn't know you hated kids. Personally, I have just accepted germs as a fact of life. I wash my hands before I eat and everything, but I find it too much to be constantly sanatizing my hands. But hey, everyone has their own fears (and you just happen to have a lot!!)
ReplyDeleteAt summer camp, I had a germophobe roommate. I swear her blood was half hand sanatizer. We still both got swine flu.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly enough, she was also afraid of not being perfect. She decided that she was "more of an English person" when she got a middling score on the practice AP test for a ridiculously difficult mathematics course. I'm pretty sure she aced the final. It just goes to show that it's easy to be too hard on yourself if you don't occasionally put things into perspective.
I love kids! I don't know how you can't love them!
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